You’ve Meditated, Healed, Shadow Worked — So Why Are You Still a Magnet for Manipulators?

You’ve done the work.
You’ve journaled your childhood trauma.
You’ve cut cords.
You’ve recited mantras.
You’ve sat in therapy rooms, retreat circles, and dark nights of the soul.

But somehow…

You still end up in relationships or friendships where they:

• Love-bomb you
• Gaslight you
• Feed on your empathy
• Leave you questioning your sanity

And once again, you’re asking:

“What am I doing wrong?”

The answer?

Nothing.

The reason you keep attracting narcissists isn’t because you’re broken —
it’s because you shine.

Let’s unpack this.
Then let’s armor you with the real tools that actually keep you safe — beyond affirmations and Instagram advice.

💣 THE BRUTAL TRUTH: Narcissists Don’t Target Just Anyone

Narcissists don’t waste time on people with no empathy.
They don’t chase people who won’t reflect back their fantasy.

They seek out:

• Highly empathic women who are deeply spiritual, open-hearted, and healing
• Women who want to see the best in others
• Women who are comfortable with discomfort (i.e., you’ll tolerate way more than you should)
• Women who are doing “the work” and will blame themselves before blaming the other

You’re not being punished for not healing enough.
You’re being targeted because your light is real — and they want it.

🩸 THE LIE: “You Attract What You Are”

Let’s destroy this myth.

No, you’re not a narcissist in disguise.
You’re not “vibrating wrong.”
You’re not “manifesting abuse.”

That’s spiritual gaslighting.

The real reason it keeps happening is because:

1. Narcissists mirror your values at first
2. They scan you for weak spots (especially unhealed family dynamics)
3. They study how much you’ll excuse in the name of growth, compassion, or “divine union”

You attract them because you’re glowing with the energy they can’t generate themselves — and your self-accountability makes you easy to manipulate.

🧠 THE SYSTEMATIC PROBLEM: No One Taught You to Trust Your Nervous System

As women, we’re taught to:

• Be nice instead of discerning
• Stay in connection instead of honoring gut signals
• Label warning signs as “triggers” instead of guidance

So even after “doing the work,” you may still override:

• That pit in your stomach when they speak in circles
• That tightness in your chest after love-bombing
• That shame spiral after trying to set a boundary

Because healing made you more open, but not necessarily more protected.

Let’s change that.

🛠️ THE SOLUTION: What Actually Protects You from Narcissists

✅ 1. Stop Trying to Heal Faster Than You Can Discern

Healing isn’t about speeding up your forgiveness process.
It’s about building an inner security system that actually detects threats.

Start asking:

“Does this feel safe or just familiar?”
“Is this connection nourishing, or am I just used to emotional labor?”

Familiar ≠ safe.
If you grew up around narcissistic patterns, you’ll unconsciously bond with people who feel like “home.”

✅ 2. Anchor into Your Body — Not Just Your Mind

Narcissists can manipulate your logic.
They can imitate emotional language.
But they cannot bypass your body’s alarm system.

Practices that reconnect you to instinct:

• Grounding barefoot before/after any emotional interaction
• Placing one hand on your gut when someone makes a request
• Noticing what tightens or contracts in the body — then trusting it

If you leave an interaction feeling drained, confused, or ashamed — you were just fed on.

✅ 3. Normalize Walking Away Early (Without Explanation)

You don’t owe people:

• Closure
• Second chances
• Trauma-informed communication when they’re draining you on purpose

“I’m not available for this kind of energy anymore”
is a complete sentence.

Make early exit a regular self-care tool, not a dramatic event.

✅ 4. Test People Instead of Proving Yourself

You’ve been conditioned to audition for love:

• “If I show how supportive I am…”
• “If I stay even when it’s hard…”
• “If I empathize with their pain…”

Stop.

You don’t need to prove your worth — they need to earn your safety.

Try this:

• Say no and observe how they react.
• Set a boundary and see if they shame you.
• Take space and see if they punish your silence.

Their reaction is your protection manual. Believe it.

✅ 5. Create a “Red Flag Rewind” Journal

List every narcissist you’ve dealt with. For each one, write:

• What were the earliest signs I ignored?
• What did I feel in my body early on?
• What did I justify to myself to stay?

This is your energetic blueprint. Learn it. Memorize it.
When someone new shows up — compare them to that list.

If it smells familiar, it is.

✅ 6. Practice “Light Shielding” Daily

Even if you don’t see it as spiritual warfare — it is.

Here’s a 2-minute daily ritual:

Close your eyes.
Picture a radiant sphere of light around your body.
Say aloud:
“Only those who bring truth and safety may enter my field.
All others are reflected back to their own lessons.”
Open your eyes.

You don’t have to match their manipulation.
You just have to withdraw your consent to being hunted.

✅ 7. Stop Making Narcissist Attraction a Personality Flaw

You are not broken for being kind.
You are not dumb for trusting.
You are not attracting abuse because of your energy.

You’re being targeted because you’ve got the one thing they lack:
A soul that still feels, still loves, still hopes.

That is not a flaw. It’s a frequency.
One that now needs protection — not shame.

👑 FINAL WORD: You’re Not a Magnet — You’re a Light Source

And that light?
It’s powerful.
It’s rare.
It’s threatening.

So yes — predators come for it.

But now you know:

• How they operate
• What your body tells you
• How to stay sovereign

And now the game has changed.

You are not here to endlessly prove that you’ve healed.
You’re here to become the version of you who never gets devoured again.